Hot spots in Thailand. Deception of tourists and dangerous places in Pattaya. Attacks - Bastards on motorbikes
What to hide - the entire diverse entertainment industry of Pattaya is completely ignored by the bulk of male tourists who came here for completely different purposes. They are interested primarily in establishments of a sexual nature: go-go bars, erotic massage parlors, “pussy shows” and beer bars with girls, crammed into all possible locations of clients.
TIME
As a rule, they all open from 17-18 pm and work until 2-3 am. In the evening, Pattaya essentially turns into one big brothel under the open (and also closed) sky. “Hello, sexy man!” - the prostitutes shout to the withered gray-bearded farangs, the pink lights of the bars attract lovers of paid love like a magnet, and signs like “Dolls a Go-Go” promise men paradise for a small amount.
MONEY
On average, a night of sexual pleasures costs clients 1000-1500 Thai baht for the girl and 200-300B in compensation for the bar. In go-go, this amount is multiplied by one and a half to two times. For lovers of “fast love”, the process costs 500-1000V and an hour or two of time, for which many establishments have special “short-time rooms” (300V).
PLACES
Where to start your hunt for winged creatures of the night? In fact, almost everywhere. The first major bar enclave, starting from the north, is on Naklua Street, from Soi 18/1 and Soi 29/1 to Dolphin Square. Next comes a more or less calm area, which again flares up with pink lights at the Central Festival Plaza and adjacent Soi 2 and Soi 3. What stands out here is the huge Sabai massage center and the go-go bar attached to it with a seductive sign .
The inner side of Second Road to the famous Soi 6, more commonly called Soi Yodsak, is at the mercy of loud beer bars with crowds of girls. This street is one of the epicenters of explosive nightlife, and it is almost impossible for a male to pass through it without consequences. All you have to do is gape - and you are already grabbed by the arms of the cheerful “carrots”, dragged to their “bed”, generously watered with beer and seated in the express room upstairs, in the company of some girlfriend.
Having calmed down for a while, the sex battle flared up around 7th Street between the two main Pattaya highways. Further bars are scattered around the outer side of Second Road and Beach Road, where you can listen to musicians perform while you're looking for a date for the night. Beach Road from Soi 7 to Walking Street is replete with signs of go-go bars, into whose wombs farangs regularly disappear, never to return to the righteous life.
Their fate was shared by Stepanych from the “Thai Voyage”, who had sinned only once before, in the resort of Truskavets:
- Let's go to the go-go!
- Where?
- Go-go!
Without further ado, they turned into the nearest gateway, from where they were literally dragged into blinking darkness. And there…
Poles, girls in panties and without. A couple of them immediately surrounded Stepanych, babbling something. He struggled and was covered in sweat. Senya trudged along, watching. Then, pulling him out of the hug, he took Stepanych out into the air. He, rolling his eyes, lit a cigarette, breaking the matches. Then, taking a drag, he shouted:
- Well... are you standing?! Show me where they sell condoms? (‘Siamese voyage of Stepanych’)
In principle, all these establishments are the same, and there is no point in singling out any of them, except perhaps ''Angel Witch'' at 15 Jay Beach Road, a branch of the most famous go-go bar in Bangkok's Nana Plaza ''. It also hosts incendiary shows, where girls demonstrate everything that Mother Nature has endowed them with. Closer to South Street, in the alleys of Soi Pattayaland 13/3 and 13/4, the local gay quarter, called Boys Town, predatorily lurks. This joyful event is announced by a sign on the side of Second Road and dark personalities persistently inviting passing men to “look at the blue light.” Boystown is literally crammed with go-go and saunas for representatives of sexual minorities who threaten to become the Pattaya majority.
Another bar hotspot nests on Soi Buakhao Street, which connects Central and South streets, at a distance of 200-300 meters parallel to Second Road. Organized tourists practically do not come here, and the main contingent of visitors are Pattaya regulars and expats. Bar girls and their clients have often known each other for a long time, so the atmosphere in local establishments is warmer and devoid of signs of tourist fever.
Walking Street! This is where the sexual pulse of the whole city beats! The number of go-go bars and just bars with girls simply cannot be counted, starting from the spacious “The Pier”, in front of the entrance advertising board on the street, and ending with the thunderous “Sharky Bar”. In the evenings, the street is closed to traffic, and girls and boys line it up advertising their spots. Muddy types walk around here, thrust pieces of paper into their hands in semi-literate Russian and offer to go to “sex sou”, announcing the entrance price from 300 to 600B. Clubs with this spectacle are hidden on the adjacent narrow jays of Walking Street, but to visit them you don’t need to pay any barkers, you just have to go in on your own, ignoring the “guides” and order a drink (100-150B) - this is a kind of entrance ticket.
Perhaps the loudest jay on Walking Street is Soi 16, more commonly referred to as the Arab Quarter. It starts between the Tony's disco and the Rolling Stones 2 bar. Here you can not only choose girls with particularly curvaceous figures, but also lie on the pillows, leisurely smoking a hookah. After this street, lovers of night dating there is nothing to do on Walking Street, since there are no go-go bars further.
They appear in droves already on Jomtien Beach, where behind the intersection of Thappraya and Thepprasit streets the second Pattaya gay quarter (Soi Poseydon) is marked with a magnificent neon sign. Its highlight is the nightly dance shows of transvestites in local clubs, and any male passerby is looked at with interest by the numerous “ahtungs” and cute staff of gay saunas, fitness centers and cafes. During the day, on the beach of the Avalon hotel in this area, the largest gay party gathers, where people of “outdated” sexual orientation practically do not go.
Bars with girls, traditional in every sense, occupied the last stretch of Thapprai and small jays on Jomtien itself (Soi 5-8).
Among the massage parlors where body massage “with continuation” is practiced, the already mentioned ‘’Sabai’’ on Second Road, opposite the ‘’Central Plaza’’ shopping center, stands out.
Probably Stepanych was sent there by his bosom friend Senya, without warning his simple-minded friend about the true purpose of the “therapeutic procedures.” And this is what came out of it: ‘’We go into the room. Beauty. This little girl, let's tinker with the bathroom there. Well, I think hygiene comes first, I wait in shorts. She pulls me, they say, get into the bath, old monkey. And I tell her, go to f..., I’ve already washed myself twice today. But she insists. Well, let's go. In shorts. This one laughs. Let's get them off me. He obeyed, as if the doctor knew better. And she started washing me, as if I was weak myself! What a shame, it lathers, but I took root. I think I screwed up! Fortunately there is a lot of foam. So listen, I see she’s coming at me herself. Well, damn it, I’m surprised how medicine has taken such a leap in Thailand! And let's wash ourselves. Wonderful! Then, she got out and was whipping up some foam in the basin, and little by little I began to calm down. I threw the inflatable mattress. He's calling, lie down. I covered my shame, got out, lay down, lying on my belly... And then she started driving all over me, just like a minibus along the Siberian Highway. Back and forth, back and forth. Whole body. All... all the delights. At first I also seemed to slide. Then it took root again. It seemed like he was starting to slow down. But I feel like I’ll slow down for a minute and I’ll be blown away. As soon as he began to lose consciousness, he said, turn over. Where to go? Overturned. She looked at this case and said (I think so) - they say, why did you put your connecting rod out here? Well, again, let’s drive at me. But you won’t speed up much! The anchor is in the way, fuck you! I'm already starting to get angry, but somehow not too much. This massager seems to have stopped and is asking something. And she grabbed me by the... Here I’m getting serious, I’m going wild, I say, why the hell are we here for a massage, or where? And she’s playing up, it’s a shame to remember... And again she asks something. And what am I... as usual I answer, go to..., yes yes yes yes, no, camelot. Like a spell, he just said it and finished. It's strange, but she was happy, bitch. Something meows in your ear. And I don’t seem to need anything anymore except nitroglycerin, not a massage, not her meow-meow.
Senya struck. He laughed so hard that he seriously worried Stepanych with his behavior...’’ (“Siamese Voyage of Stepanych”)
On the streets and embankments of Pattaya, at any time of the day, there are tons of so-called “freelancers” roaming around - free shooters for whom you don’t have to pay the bar. The fee is the same - from 1000B per night, but many people agree on the duration of the entire vacation. Such a temporary couple has many advantages: the client receives a housewife, guide, translator and partner in one person, reducing the risk of sexually transmitted infections. The largest market of sexually active brides is located on Beach Road, where in the evening hours there is simply no crowd of people wanting to place their bodies in safe hands for a period of from an hour to an eternity. The filming center is considered to be a small area at the intersection of Central Street and the embankment. As a rule, after a short conversation, the parties come to an understanding and go arm in arm to the nearest bar or straight to a hotel room.
When renting a partner for a long time (the so-called “long time”), for a period from a week to a month, it is customary to pay at the end with an amount equivalent to 500-1000B per day, by agreement. If at the end of the “resort romance” the girl does not take the money, but chirps about eternal love and asks for an email address, then the old Pattaya trick comes into play under the code name “sick buffalo”. Inspired by an unearthly exotic love, the farang receives messages every day: “I’m dying of melancholy, I’m knitting socks for you,” which, by the way, tell about the severe financial problems that befell her family (her mother got sick, her brother crashed his motorbike, he’s kicked out of the room, he’s dying favorite buffalo in the village). As a rule, these letters are written by girls using carbon copies, and in any Internet cafe you can see “carrots” simultaneously communicating on “Skype” with several “lovers”. Such naive men are aptly named in Stephen Leder's book "sad fuck", where the first word is translated as "sad". Don't add your last name to this sad list.
In general, the female contingent in Pattaya is very specific, and many waitresses, maids, masseuses, saleswomen and other service personnel earn extra money through prostitution. There is no point in moralizing and teaching the lives of adults, but it is necessary to especially note the increased risk of AIDS and other diseases in this world's largest sex resort. Thai ladies live for today and easily agree to sex without a condom, risking their lives and the health of their clients. In any circumstances and with any partners it is necessary to use means of protection.
‘’As long as you keep shelling out your dollars, everything will go your way. This is a great country.'' (C. Leder, "Private Dancer")
As always, Thai entries are duplicated in my blog on “Foreign”, where there are many other interesting authors.
Every year tourists in Thailand have the same problems! They get into the same troubles in the same places, and then shout the guard on the forums. Long-livers answer: “What were you waiting for? It's always like that there"
For some reason, our tourists have the impression that Thailand is a very safe country. My first housemate generally insisted that here you can leave a running bike on the street, but don’t close the door to the house. I partially agree with him, because Thailand is much safer than Russia. Seriously, at 4 am in Pattaya on a dark street I feel calmer than during the day in St. Petersburg Kupchino.
But nevertheless, once every 2 weeks in the most popular VKontakte group about Pattaya a post appears “Attention! I was robbed” and describe the same scheme, in the same place. And this post immediately has a bunch of identical comments: “Yes, this has already been discussed a hundred times,” “Oh, well, you need to know such things,” “I had a case there too...”, etc.
Therefore, I will share with you those scams that are practiced in Thailand and Pattaya, as well as those places that are better to avoid.
The most dangerous place in Pattaya is the Ambassador Pattaya Hotel
Ambassador is one of the largest and most popular hotels among Russians in Pattaya. The hotel has its own huge territory, at the exit there is a large number of inexpensive cafes and souvenir shops, and opposite there is a large entertainment district called Mimosa. Everything would be fine, but it is all located on a busy highway. The worst thing there is the pedestrian crossing across the highway! Every week a person is killed at this crossing. I am not kidding! This transition is a branch of the devil. Imagine that in Moscow a zebra crossing would be allowed across the Moscow Ring Road, but without traffic lights or any identification marks at all. I hated this transition every time we drove along this highway. Here you are driving calmly for 100 km in a dense stream, and then the whole stream suddenly begins to slow down, as if in an accident: and pedestrians walked ahead without warning.
I ask you: Walk 200 meters - there is an overpass! The pedestrian crossing near Ambmassador is the most dangerous place in Pattaya.
Photo of the crossing from Google maps, an overpass can be seen in the distance. The traffic light never works!
Batman's house
There is one creepy, but very interesting place in Pattaya. Calls Batman's house. This used to be the trashiest club in Pattaya. It was opened by a Taiwanese with gold teeth using money stolen from the mafia. And according to rumors, a complete ata-tai was going on there! Child abuse and drug sales are the very tip of the iceberg. In the end, it turned out to be too much even for Pattaya and after 10 months the club was closed and the owner disappeared.
Now the club is inhabited by illegal migrants, drug addicts and prostitutes. Although the house has a very interesting appearance, it is not recommended to go into it; it is best to just ride past on a bike.
Robbery - Thieves on motorbikes
All Asians ride motorbikes very well, and they start riding openly on the streets at the age of 14, and the words “rules”, “logic”, “safety” are not about them at all. A lot of these youngsters make their living as theft. Those. During your walk, a motorbike with two youngsters is attached to you and at a certain moment they drive up very close - one snatches the bag, and the second revives on the gas. This situation in a tuk-tuk is very dangerous when it stops at a traffic light, and thieves drive up from behind and break the chain. If the chain is strong, it can seriously damage your neck.
Most often this situation happens with tourists, because... they carry large sums of money with them. Losing money in this case is just a frustration, but Many people carry passports in their purses, which is a big mistake.
Attacks - Bastards on motorbikes
As I already wrote in the post about ““, now in Pattaya there has grown up a generation of children who were born from whores. Sorry, but there is no other way to say it. Because these are gangs of young bastards without morals and fear, but with the desire to take other people's money.
These are not cowardly thieves who snatch a bag and leave, these are real bandits. They also track their prey, but if they fail to snatch the bag, they do not run away, but stop and attack. Sometimes with a knife, sometimes they throw stones at your head. But more often they throw the victim off the motorbike (when the victim is driving), i.e. they simply catch up and kick the bike down, and while the victim comes to his senses, they search his pockets.
Teenagers aged 14-18 also do this; they are still afraid of attacking men or couples. But attacks on single women driving a bike occur once a month.
Theft
There is a lot of theft in Thailand! They steal bikes in hotels, things on the beach, they steal from apartments and houses! Every year similar topics appear on the forums! In Pattaya, helmets are most often stolen from shopping centers when the owners simply leave them on the seat and do not fasten them, and bikes are also stolen there (It takes no more than 40 seconds to steal any bike). The same goes for houses in Thai villages - they are surrounded regularly, even with cameras and security, because... The cameras most often do not work, and there is an unguarded loophole into the village.
Choose condos with access cards and houses in well-guarded villages. Otherwise, keep your money in a safe and your jewelry in safe deposit boxes at the bank. By the way, V, this will help with the theft of a motorbike and the theft of a handbag, just throw it inside and install an application that can track the loss. The Thais don’t yet know what it is, so the chance of returning things is 99%.
Cheating - Jet Skiing
One of the most popular beach scams in Pattaya. So popular that jet ski owners became known as the mafia. How it all happens: You rent a jet ski, and then either when you return it, you find a large scratch on the bottom, or during the ride the wiring comes loose and the motorcycle stalls. The seller starts demanding money - from 1000 to 5000 baht, and if you don’t immediately reach into your wallet, then more and more locals appear from somewhere. About 10 locals instantly gather around you, yelling, shaking their fists, threatening the police, and you are standing on vacation, your wife and child are vacationing nearby and you don’t want all these problems at all. Therefore, tourists almost always pay a “ransom”. If you go to the island of Koh Larn, then there is a 90% chance that you will be scammed like that, because... There are no police on the beaches and no one will really help you.
There are cases when people still drag bike owners to the police, but the outcome is not clear and very much depends on the policeman. They may force you to pay, or they may send the owner of the motorbike. Remember that no matter how menacingly the scooter owners wave their fists, they will not attack you (the main thing is not to be rude to them), because the police know everything about their scams and if they touch a tourist, their shop will immediately close. Therefore, option 3: go to the police and hope for luck, or pay these extortionists, or politely send everyone away and go home (they will not leave you until the ship to Pattaya).
And the best thing in Pattaya is not to take a jet ski at all!
Fraud with bank cards (interesting case)
Scrimming, or theft of bank card data, is almost a national pastime in Thailand, because... Street cameras have not yet been developed here, and the IT police work very poorly, so scammers from all over the world come here. Cases of theft are completely different, the most unusual I have seen are the following: A thief gets on a night bus who is watching foreigners, their targets are tourists who have just arrived and are traveling full of money. When the tourist falls asleep, the thief takes cards and cash out of his bag, asks him to stop the bus and transfers into the prepared car (She either follows him from Bangkok itself, or waits at the appointed place), then the car vomits to the nearest electronics store and empties it overnight cards, the tourist discovers the loss only in the morning, or on the highway at night, where he can do nothing.
Deception - Rent a motorbike on a whip.
I heard about such a scam most often on the beach (beach street in Pattaya), where many drunk tourists take bikes for a ride. There are several places there where they rent very cool sports bikes or Harleys. The deposit is only a passport. The scam is the same as with a jet ski, you are either shown a large scratch somewhere under the bottom, or this scratch is slightly painted over and the paint will immediately fall off when riding. In general, do not take a bike to Bichka! Better google who Auntie Tiom is (not to be confused with “Russian Thai Tom”). Auntie Tiem is a very kind and good Thai woman who will never cheat and rents motorbikes in Pattaya.
Kathoi attacks
Katoyami in Thailand are called transvestites. Those. boys who became girls. For many, katoi is still exotic, and unpleasant at that. The next time you decide to tease a tranny, remember that this is, first of all, a man who is on hormonal pills, who is insulted during the day, and at night they do things that no healthy person can stand. Therefore, katoeys very often attack tourists. These include robberies and banal fights.
In general, all long-lived people advise staying away from the cathoi. It never ends well.
Deception - Changing money in a taxi
The point is that when dropping you off, the taxi driver stops very poorly, most often at some busy intersection, or right in front of a traffic light, in general, so that they start honking at him, and you are in a hurry. You give the taxi driver the money, turn to the exit, but they don’t let you get out - the taxi driver shows the money in his hand, and there is 100 or 200 baht missing. And recently a smiling taxi driver with the same smile and bewilderment asks you to pay the bill, dissatisfied beeps come from behind and you are completely confused. Most often, people think that they really mixed up the new money, but in fact the taxi driver replaced them.
Shake your finger at the taxi driver, say “Ay-ay-ay” and get out. The taxi driver knows that he cheated and no one will chase you
Deception - Attraction is closed
This is found everywhere in Asia! If you take a taxi to some attraction, the taxi driver will tell you that it is closed, but for a small fee he will take you around amazing places that are usually not shown to tourists.
I get caught all the time. We smile and tell the taxi driver that you will go and have a look anyway =)
Deception - Selling drugs
There is a death penalty for selling drugs in Thailand! But for many years now there has been a boy walking on the beach street in Pattaya who, with an unequivocal gesture, offers to buy “dope” from him. Periodically, some unafraid idiot buys from him, then the guy steps into the shadows, takes out his phone and calls the police, to whom he turns over this idiot for a reward. If you decide to buy drugs anywhere in Thailand, there is a 99% chance that you will be handed over to the police.
Welcome to the land of smiles
Despite all this, Thailand remains as friendly and smiling! what is described above can be found in any other country in the world, but I wrote this so that you would be more careful! After Russian tensions, ours are too relaxed in Thailand and become victims of scammers! Be kind to people, but know where they want to deceive you!
Have a nice holiday 😉 
Pattaya is the most famous city in Thailand among tourists. Sometimes it seems that there are more tourists in Pattaya than residents, but perhaps this is true. This city is made by tourists and for tourists: hotels, bars, restaurants, shops, huge high-rise buildings, where there are apartments both for rent and for purchase as property.
It is very easy to get to Pattaya from Bangkok, and also to escape from there in the opposite direction. Buses from Pattaya run very frequently and deliver to Bangkok Ekkamai and Mo Chit bus stations. From Bangkok, buses arrive at the bus station in Pattaya, North Pattaya Station.
Buses take approximately 2 to 3 hours. The buses are comfortable, you can easily buy tickets before leaving. Ticket price is only 124 Baht per person from Ekkamai Station. 124 baht is the average cost of tickets, it seems that they were still a little cheaper and a little more expensive, but we took a bus that goes along the autobahn, it goes much faster than the others. The ticket office is immediately on the right at Ekamai Station.
You can also get to Pattaya by train. True, the train runs only once a day, and no one can tell you exactly how long it will run. The train departs on weekdays (there is no train to Pattaya on weekends) at 06.55 and arrives in Pattaya at 10.35. Return from Pattaya at 14.21, and in Bangkok promises to be at 18.25. . But the cost is only 35 Baht per person. Although it is better to check the departure time and amount at the railway station. From Pattaya station you still need to take a tuk-tuk, but from the bus station you can also walk, it’s a bit far, of course, but you can walk. Moreover, on the way you can stop at BigC or Tesco Lotus.
Hotels located close to the sea are quite expensive. The further from the beach, the cheaper. We were looking for a hotel at the height of the Thai New Year and did not find anything more or less acceptable, since all the hotels were packed to capacity. What was available cost from 900 baht per room. Perhaps the price tag on Jomtien Beach would have been a little lower, but we wanted to be in the city center.
There are many shops in Pattaya. Shopping centers such as Tesco Lotus and Big C are located far from the beach, but within walking distance. There are many shopping complexes and shops right on the embankment or on the next street along the sea.
During the day there are many bars and restaurants on the waterfront. On Volkin Street everything is closed. There is also KFS and McDonald's (McDonald's makes very good money at night from hungry tourists who have gone crazy on Volkin Street). 
By the way, sorry for the quality of the photos, we took pictures with a small camera in an underwater housing, because we knew that we would be doused from head to toe.
On the streets they make a variety of food and sell drinks. In general, everything is the same as everywhere else in Thailand. Everyone’s favorite (who has been to Thailand) Pad Thai, everyone’s adored pancakes with banana and Bubble Tea are always on sale on every street. True, the price tag is higher than in Bangkok, perhaps because of the Thai New Year (Songkran), or maybe it’s just always like that there because of the large number of tourists.
Although, to be honest, Pattaya is one of the expensive cities in Thailand, at least the most expensive of those we were able to visit.
Shopping in Pattaya is interesting, you can buy a lot of interesting things - prices for some things will be cheaper than in Russia, and some things can be bought here for the same money.
In Pattaya, our compatriots offer a variety of shopping tours: for fur coats and leather, pillows and mattresses, pharmaceutical goods, etc.
You can also buy a variety of excursions and entertainment to the islands, parks, museums, etc.
The coastline of the beach is long, but quite narrow. You can fit sun loungers in three rows and the sea right away. Due to the fact that everything on the beach is filled with umbrellas and sun loungers, there is no place to lie down on a towel. In general, it seemed somehow cramped and crowded to us. 
If you don’t compare it with the islands, the sea is not the cleanest, of course, but it’s not very dirty either. But for some reason I didn’t want to go there at all.
A very large number of local tourists go swimming on the island of Koh Larn; speedboats go there - fast boats that take about 15 minutes to go. And regular regular boats. A regular boat costs 30 baht, a fast one - from 150, a regular boat takes about an hour, a fast one - 15 minutes, and maybe faster. There are so many people on the island that there is nowhere for an apple to fall; it is on the main beach where regular boats arrive. There are several more beaches there, you need to go to them by tuk-tuk (taxi). If it’s for the whole day, it’s better to do so; neither relax nor swim on the central beach.
Volkin Street- entertainment street in Pattaya. During the day it is not pedestrianized - cars and scooters drive along it, almost all restaurants and bars are closed. A variety of things are sold on the street. In the evening the street comes alive. Firstly, the street is blocked and you can only walk along it. Secondly, a lot of lights and signs are lit and music is blaring in every bar. 
Girls stand, sit and attract tourists to come inside the hot spot. Somewhere on the pylons there are Thai women dancing. One of the bars has Thai boxing - bets are collected there. They hand out leaflets with various weird offers, such as to see who is who, who is going where and who is how... they say it’s cooler than a shocking show. A magician sells Turkish ice cream - it's worth a look. There are a lot of people on the street, just a crowd.
But girls, and more often these are former boys, of easy virtue stand not only on Volkin Street. They stand along the entire embankment every 2 meters. If you decide to spend some time with the priestesses of love, and you want it to be a priestess and not a priest, be very careful and preferably sober. Beware of fakes! Although who knows... maybe you will like it... 
General impressions of Pattaya.
People don’t go to Pattaya for a seaside holiday or to see the sights. This is a city of entertainment and sexual pleasure. The city is noisy and crowded. Who, as they say, likes it. But we wouldn’t go there on vacation.
P.S. We were in Pattaya for the Sogkran holiday - Thai New Year, which takes place in April and lasts about 3 days. These days, Thais pour plenty of water on themselves and tourists and paint with talcum powder. Due to the fact that there are many tourists in Pattaya, tourists actively participate in this holiday. These “loose” and often drunk tourists kill everyone all day long, without regret and without understanding what they are doing and why. Therefore, a warning to those who do not want to walk around wet and dirty for three whole days - it is better not to go to Thailand during the Thai New Year, and especially to Pattaya, where you will undoubtedly get a huge portion of water.
But we found a lifeline and went to the island of Koh Larn for just a few hours, where no one thought of getting us wet.
Be careful with tuk-tuk drivers, who only at first glance seem like pleasant and friendly people, but their main goal is the opportunity to earn as much money as possible from tourists. I’m not telling you to give up traveling on this exotic form of transport, but before you get into a tuk-tuk, agree on the fare, and you need to bargain until the last minute and insist on your price. If you get into a tuk-tuk without agreeing on the fare, then at your destination the driver will tell you an amount that may be even more expensive than a taxi fare.
Pattaya is an entertainment center and you will probably want to visit one of the local shows (go-go, ping-pong). Sometimes tourists are lured to such establishments by offering free entry and at the same time serving a beautiful menu that does not include prices. Having seen such a menu, you immediately need to clarify all the points related to the cost of entry and ask for an adequate menu with prices. If the waiters or other employees of the establishment do not do this, but find some excuses, then it is better to immediately get up and leave without ordering anything.
Often in bars, attractive girls sit down with tourists with drinks. There is no need to talk to them, much less order anything. When you leave, carefully study your bill, as there may be drinks on it that you did not order (adding “wrong” names is normal practice). Be that as it may, try not to abuse alcohol and not make casual acquaintances.
When visiting establishments that specialize in seafood, be especially careful, since almost always the prices there are indicated not per serving, but per 100 grams. If it turns out that you didn’t finish checking it, then ask to pack everything uneaten with you.
Under no circumstances lift other people's wallets, packages, bags or other things that you have nothing to do with. Such things will definitely have an owner, and instead of being thanked, you may be accused of theft. Moreover, the picked bag could easily contain drugs, and as soon as you pick it up, the police will appear and begin accusing you of drug possession, and in the best case, this will end in a large bribe. In almost every case, the police take the side of local residents.
In Pattaya, like other Thai cities, there are so-called “helpers” everywhere. There are especially many of them near bus stations, ticket offices and other places where tourists gather. Before you agree to their help, be prepared for the fact that these are not disinterested people; for their services they ask for an average of 100 baht, but you can bargain for less. If you are sure that you can buy a ticket or find the right bus yourself, then drive them to hell.
If you visit any significant attractions in Pattaya or other Thai cities, be careful not to run into false guides who usually meet tourists at the entrance to museums, palaces and other popular places and begin to tell them that it is impossible to get inside ( under various pretexts). And then they offer to show you another, no less interesting attraction for free, and in the end they take you in a tuk-tuk to some store and start offering you various rubbish.
Many tourists in Thailand, including Pattaya, rent bikes, but this should only be done if you have sufficient driving experience. Traffic in the city is intense and difficult, and in the event of an accident with victims, the person responsible for the accident must pay for the full treatment. You will also have to pay a tidy sum for the slightest damage (scratches).
Advice
A crazy printer in the Russian Federation ordered this article to be marked as !!! 18+ !!! . If you are reading this article and you are under 18 years old, immediately close your eyes.
Let the girls not anathematize me, but this topic cannot be ignored when speaking about Thailand, otherwise the picture will be incomplete. THERE IS SEX IN THAILAND, and there is something for every taste.
I won’t open America here. So this page is more for boys than for girls. Although in terms of pleasures for girls in TAE, everything is also in order (I’ll tell you too).
The first thing you need to remember when going to Thailand is that there is basically no sex by mutual consent (according to the principle “I already like you guy”) between adults in Thailand! You have to pay for everything there. Just like ours.
Comparison of prices for tickets to Bangkok and hotels on different sites
What, where, how and how
Topping the list of the main brothels in Thailand are Pattaya, Bangkok and Phuket. And at the top of this list is Pattaya. As Konstantin Gensch (author of my favorite guidebook) said, Pattaya is Tai’s main sperm-bucks squeezer. He's absolutely right.
Walking Street- Pattaya pedestrian street. Here are girls dancing in front of their GO-GO bars, farangs picking up girls, trannies inviting drunken tourists to taverns. There are dozens of GO-GO bars on this street, the main attribute of which are stands with dancing half-naked girls. Each dancer has her own number. Come in, choose, pay and leave. If you want it for an hour, or if you want it for the night. Moreover, the Thais who work in massage parlors and GO-GO bars cannot be called night butterflies. Somehow everything is organic there. Therefore, even in the crude Russian tourist slang, a special name appeared for Thai girls - carrots.
The price for girls depends on how you can bargain, and on how much she liked you (this is also an important factor). In popular GO-GO bars, the price usually starts from 3,000 baht per night (that’s about 3,000 rubles). However, by haggling, you can bring down the price. In the off-season, you can bargain for 1,500 baht. Carrots from a pub will cost much less.
If you take a carrot for an hour, it will show you to your room. Not far from most GO-GO bars there are inexpensive hotels with “short stay” rooms.
The price of carrots includes "bar fine"- a kind of compensation for what the bar will lose by letting the girl go with you. For example, if a carrot remained in a tavern, it could trick several customers into drinking, but if it left with you, it would deprive the bar of possible earnings. This is what the “bar fine” compensates for. The amount of bar fines ranges from 300 to... 1500 for some super-girls. However, the usual "bar fine" is in the range of 500 to 600 baht. 
Moreover, in the process of negotiating the price (if it happens in a bar), the carrot will trick you into buying a drink for it. This is not at all because she wants to drink, she just has... a certain sales plan for the evening, and she is obliged to fulfill this plan. For example, during the evening, each carrot in a GOGO bar must sell 5 or 6 drinks to customers. And if she did not fulfill this plan, then the missing cost will be deducted from the girl from her daily earnings. So after you buy a carrot a drink, the likelihood that it will agree to spend the evening with you increases. In addition, each carrot in the bar has another plan: it must serve a certain number of customers in a month. On average it is six or eight people.
Well, if something confused you during the negotiations, then in every bar there is an elder and you can always turn to her - this is mamasan. 
Mamasan, as a rule, manages the girls, promotes clients for drinks and maintains the microclimate of the team (how!!!). A good mamasan is worth its weight in gold. Otherwise, the bar may lose girls, customers, and income.
And also, in order to avoid troubles, before bringing the carrot to the hotel room, It’s advisable to look at her ID card. All adult Thai citizens, including carrots, are required to carry an ID card. This card is the size of a credit card. Such laminated crap with a photo of a girl, her name, date and place of birth.
If the carrot does not have an ID card, then perhaps she is a minor (and this is a prison sentence), or is a citizen of Laos or Cambodia, and most likely is in Thailand illegally. If something happens, look for her fistulas...
Most GOGO bars do not have their own numbers. So if you rented a “carrot” for a short period of time, then you will have to take it to your room or “short-term hotel” and pay extra for the room. Usually the carrots themselves know where the nearest hotels are located, which rent rooms for an hour and a half.
The main brothels in Bangkok
Among the most popular shopping areas of BKK are Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza and Patpong.
Soi Cowboy- a small street running parallel to Sukhumvit Road. Located between Asok Road and Soi 23. If you take the BTS (skytrain), get off at Sukhumvit Station or Asok.
Nana- another one of the most famous entertainment complexes in Bangkok. The building was built in the form of a three-story square-well. Nana is located on Sukhumvit Soi 4. Now there are about 40 bars concentrated in and around Nana. There are also “short stay hotels” on the top floor. Nana Plaza is a short walk from Nana SkyTrain Station. It is better to get here from the old city, that is, the historical center and from Khaosan by taxi.
Patpong District includes several streets - Soi 1, Soi 2 and Soi Tanya and has more than 100 bars. After sunset, the sidewalk along the north side of Silom and Patpong 1 (Soi 1) turns into a market for clothes and other junk. Most GO-GO bars are located on the 1st floor. The second floor is the halls where they show pussy shows and performances...
Throw North
The sex industry also operates on the islands of Thailand and in the north. So the most popular bars in Chiang Mai, where you can pick a carrot, are concentrated around the central square, between Tha Phae Road and Loi Kro Road. This area and nearby streets are called Night market. The area around Chieng Mai Night Bazaar is filled with taverns, bars and massage parlours. "Star XIX" located on Loi Kroh street. Halfway to the night bazaar on the right side of the road. At night you can see pussy shows here, just like in the second floor bars in Patpong. Entrance fee may be 100 baht, but this includes the drink.
Girls from the aquarium
Concept "Thai massage" known all over the world. Real Thai massage is an extremely useful thing, I was convinced of it on my first visit to Thailand. However, when entering a massage parlor, be careful not to confuse the traditional massage and all other options, such as “oil massage”, “aroma massage”, “oil massage”, etc. All sorts of “oils” and “oils” are a scam for sex. First, the masseuse will undress you and coat you with oil; to clear his conscience, he pokes his fist in the ribs a couple of times, and then suggests “boom-boom.” 
“Boom-boom” will actually have to be paid to the masseuse at a separate rate (on average 2,000 baht). As a result, officially for a massage - 450 baht, for a masseuse for “boom-boom” - 2000 baht. Moreover, this rule is typical for almost all Thai massage salons. In short, if you didn’t order “Thai traditional massage”, then you came for something else...
Probably the only place where you won't be offered to get laid is Wat Pho monastery in Bangkok. There's only traditional massage. This is the oldest school of Thai massage and the most authoritative. There is “boom-boom”, neither boom nor boom.
Another type of sexual services is body massage(body massage), also called soap massage. Body massage is performed only in certain salons. Body massage parlors are scattered throughout Bangkok. There are five of them in Pattaya. Finding a salon is not difficult, just tell the taxi driver “wee-wee massage.” Many Thai taxi drivers do not understand the word “body”. Prices for a body massage session range from 1,600 to 4,000 baht. Moreover, the collapse of prices has nothing to do with the quality of services. On average, the cost of a session is 2500 baht. The session lasts one and a half hours. 
The central hall of the body massage salon is a kind of aquarium. Behind the glass, like in an aquarium, sit dozens of carrots. You can choose any girl. Each has a number pinned on their chest. Moreover, what’s interesting is that the manager of the establishment most often does not allow you to come close to the glass and look at the girls.
Having chosen the carrot you like, you go to a room with a bathroom. Here you will be washed, covered with foam and... massaged with your naked body. That, in fact, is the whole massage. Further continuation is at the request of the client. Everything, as they say, is included.
Body massage parlors can be found in BKK on Sukhumvit street. So in the Sukhumvit area between the “second” and “fourth” jays (alleys) there are a bunch of taverns, beer bars, GO-GO bars and the “Annie's” massage parlor. Right there on Sukhumvit, Soi 12 - the “Darling Massage” salon. The salon is located in the depths of the courtyard on the right. A very decent salon. One of the most decent in Bangkok. The aquarium can contain 30 carrots at a time.
Another area where there are many body massage parlors in BKK is Pechburi street.
The most popular body massage salons in Pattaya are in the northern part of the city - Sabai Land(102/1 Soi 3 Pattaya 2nd Road), Sabai Dee(435/52 Moo 9 Pattaya 2nd Road). The most popular and one of the most expensive body massage salons in PTT - Sabai Room. Another, less well-known body massage salon “PP Massage” is located between 3rd road and Soi Buakow. The price of pleasure is 2400 baht per session (i.e. for an hour and a half).
Miracles below the belt
Pussy show. Another entertainment for tourists. On a small stage, Thai women show what can be done with what is between their legs. Moreover, in this very place they not only open bottles, but also shoot, etc. In short, you can watch. Cool. A circus is a circus. Many people ask how to watch a pussy show, bypassing the middlemen who pester you in Vilkina (Pattaya), and invite you to watch the all-round girls. As a result, when entering the hall, you pay the barkers from 100 to 200 baht. In fact, many pussy shows are free to enter if you come yourself, and the cost of the show is the drink you order. So many barkers on Vilkin invite you to pussy show "Fantasy", which is located right next door to the popular GO GO bar Angelwitch (pictured). If you stand facing the entrance to Angelwitch, then “Fantasy” will be on the right hand, in the depths, under the arch. Come in, look, drink. Yes, and more. When you enter Fantasia, a barker may also jump up to you. We are faced with this. Some cunning weirdo, who didn’t want to hang out with Vilkin, took a position at the entrance. He sees that people are going without an intermediary, and he’s right there: like, I brought them. You tactfully send him away and into the hall.
In addition to the miracles “below the belt”, on the pussy show you can see several numbers with trannies. There is no vulgarity there, but it’s still better not to take children there. Here: a spectacular fire show, beautiful costumed dances by transvestites and live advertising of local carrots.
Girls love it too
As I said at the very beginning, the other half of humanity, alas not the traditional one, is not forgotten in Tai. The most famous in Bangkok pubs for lesbians"Shella", "Zeta" and "Lesla". Shella, Zeta (29 Royal City Avenue) is open daily, and Lesla is open Saturday and Sunday evenings. "Shela" located next to Lumpini Park. "Lesla" Sukhumvit Soi 55 (Soi Tonglor). This is the biggest lesbian scene (no boys allowed). The entrance fee is around 150 baht.
Damn perverts!
And now what everyone generally prefers to remain silent about - Blowjob bars. As the name suggests, blowjob bars specialize in blowjobs (English slang for blow job). Some of these bars have bar counters at the bottom covered with curtains with holes cut in them. You sit, have a drink, and at this time the girl behind the counter provides you with these very services. However, not all bars have curtains like this. In some, everything happens right in plain sight. If this is too steep for you, you can ask to be taken to the room next door. They are usually free. Session fee from 500 baht.